Eat this not that OR Why You Can't Trust Pinterest

I am titling this post "eat this not that" because this is exactly what I'm going to suggest.

The two ingredient angel food cakes on pinterest are too good to resist. I'm sure I've made just about every combination possible. They are usually crazy low cal and you don't have to put eggs or butter or any of that other fattening stuff in it. Heavenly!

I've made one with great success and I'll tell you more about that later, BUT FIRST let's talk about the cake you should not make... The Blueberry & Angel Food Cake

I guess that graphic comes off a little harsh. Anyway, I followed the directions exactly and I'm too embarrassed to show you the pictures (which did not look like that) because I am certain that you'd be able to taste the tragedy through your computer. 

If you see this pin RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

Instead, may I suggest making the same cake and using pineapple chunks instead. It's delicious and moist and everything the blueberry cake isn't. It makes me sad to even write that because I love blueberries!

Just a sweet tip...

This is going to be real short and sweet.

Real sweet.

If you ever get a chance to hop into a Pinkberry this fall I think it's important for you to know that their flavor Chocolate Hazelnut tastes just like a fancy grown up, Wendy's frosty.

His & Hers Pinkberry

And if you order the mini it's only 144 calories.

Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. So maybe another day is a better time to discuss being a sugar addict. 

You're welcome!

HAPPY FALL Y'ALL!!!

Karate Kids! A karate themed rainbow cake

This is going to be a semi-long and moderately detailed post on how to make a less involved rainbow cake with a karate theme. Specific enough?

Last Sunday two of my nieces earned their black belts in karate. They worked so very hard, so we wanted to help with the celebration. Admittedly my knowledge of martial arts comes directly from the movie 3 Ninjas. I feel no shame about this. 

Since I knew this would be a big project, I enlisted their younger sister as my baker's assistant and we set out to make an over-the-top, black belt worthy cake. 

Originally I thought it would be a good idea to learn how to use fondant effectively, but then I changed my mind. It seemed really, really involved and the last thing I wanted was to be making an already complicated cake any more complicated. So I found an already complicated cake and made it easier. That's how I like to handle things.

Also just ignore all of the nutritional information for this cake. It's horrible. It's reaaaaaaaaly bad. What can I say, it's cake! But just so you know this was a TALL cake and it took a 3-4 days to eat by 10 people. I think that makes me feel better and you should feel better about that too. Ignorance is bliss and also apparently thousands of calories.

I'm not going to do like the other recipes because it's more of a "building project" than a recipe. 

But the materials I used were: 

Two boxes of white cake mix + eggs and oil

3.5 cans of vanilla frosting

Crisco

Random Sprinkles

Odense Marzipan almond candy dough

Food coloring

Icing pens for decoration

Black licorice

Wilton food coloring spray

Non-food Equiptment

Two 9 in. round baking pans

Karate shaped cookie cutters

Rolling pin

Mixer

A RIDICULOUS amount of mixing bowls

Parchment Paper

And then I will explain the "phases" of this "building project." Sorry I'm in love with quotation marks today.

PHASE ONE: Planning

PHASE TWO: Caaaaaake

PHASE THREE: Decorating

PHASE FOUR: What is phase four?

PHASE ONE: Planning
FIRST I knew I wanted to do a cake with all the belt colors inside. I found this cake online and read the instructions and watched a video of her on Martha Stewart. 

Then I thought, "that seems like a lot of work to make a cake and icing from scratch." It's really not that much more work but I didn't feel like doing it. So there. 

Then I picked up my niece who told me that I and the internet are both morons. There are EIGHT belt colors not six. Thankfully she takes karate too and was able to be the brains behind the operation.

We knew we were doing a rainbow cake and would use the ninjabread men cookie cutters I found over the summer at Target to put the girls on the top of the cake. We would make a black belt for the cake around the bottom made out of black licorice that we knew no one would ever want to eat. 

PHASE TWO: Caaaaaake

We mixed the ingredients for the first box of cake and then separated it evenly into four small mixing bowls. It doesn't seem like a lot because it's not. Don't be alarmed. 

The layers of cake ready to be fully frosted.

I only had two round pans so we did each layer 2 at a time. I put crisco on EVERY pan every time so the cakes popped right out. I highly suggest this.

We baked them at 350 and my oven took about 12 minutes but we checked every few minutes on the first batch to make sure they would come out okay.

When two cakes were done we moved them to a cooling area and let the pans cool down before we cleaned, re-greased and started another batch. While the cakes and pans cooled we cleaned out bowls and started mixing the second box of cake. Definitely a two lady job!

We started with the bottom colors so once they were cooled we could just start layering and frosting. 

Layers Baked Together

White (no color added) & Orange

Yellow & Green

Blue & Brown (One drop of red, yellow and blue until desired shade)

Red & Black (we used black food coloring)

We used about 2/3 a cup of frosting between each layer of cake but use as much as you need.

When we were done we put a thin layer of icing around the cake and put it in the refrigerator for about an hour while we ate lunch. When it was done cooling we put the final layer which was really complicated and looked a hot mess. But more on that later...

PHASE THREE: Decorating

While I iced the cakes, my niece decorated the karate girls for the top of the cake.

 

Niece #3 decorating her almond flavored mini-sisters!

We used almond flavored marzipan because I didn't want to play with fondant and we only need a little bit anyway. Also, it was on the same aisle at the store and was less money. Of course it was the winner. 

Basically you break off a piece, roll it with a rolling pin in between two pieces of parchment paper and then use cookie cutters for your desired design.

It was so easy I can't believe I've never heard of it before. I'll definitely be using it in the future.

We used white and black icing pens for the design and used some extra flower shaped sprinkles I had to put in their hair so you could tell it they had ponytails etc. Then we just wrote what we had room for with the same icing pens. Pretty easy!

Then came the hard part. As you'll see we couldn't get the icing consistency right to be smooth (I guess that's what I get for not making it from scratch. Whatever!) 

Since it looked ridiculous we went to my baking box to find a solution. Our solution was to use spray food coloring by Wilton to color the sides of the cake and hopefully camouflage the imperfections. Since gradient is sooooo cool I just lightly sprayed, just like spray paint, while I turned the cake. As I kept turning I moved downward until the bottom of the cake was really red and the top of the side was just a light pinky-red color. It worked like a charm.

Then we surrounded the cake with its very own black belt made of disgusting black licorice which no one ate. :)

The finished product!

We stored the cake overnight in the fridge because my cake cover wouldn't fit over it. It was too tall! 

PHASE FOUR: What is phase four?

Then final phase of this very long post is the celebration!

Was the cake perfect? no. 

I strongly believe that anyone else who attempts this will make it a MILLION times better and way more attractive and I hope you send me pictures. 

When we were layering I thought, "what dull colors." Even Husband thought that the colors looked bland. When we cut into it the colors were so vibrant I almost shed a tear of relief! It was BEAUTIFULLY colorful!

Karate Kids!

Did the girls love it? Absolutely. 

Especially because their little sister helped make them a tasty treat to celebrate a huge accomplishment. While eating this cake they were already brainstorming what they'll make for her black belt test next year. So sweet!

I'm not saying my nieces have inspired me to take up karate, but I could totally go for a kickboxing class. How's that for gymspiration? These are strong, athletic little girls and they are now officially the most dangerous people I am related too. You go girls!

XO, Andrea

Channeling my internal George Michael Bluth - Frozen Banana Ice Cream

Two weeks ago I made a speedy trip to Louisiana and upon my return I realized the 3 lbs of bananas purchased before I left were almost completely gone. Only about four were left and within a day or two just two little nanas were left. Then they started to look reaaaallly sketch, like they might go bad in a few days.

There's always money in the banana stand!

Like a true healthy visionary I thought, "I will totally freeze these and make something amazing later!"


I really wanted to have a George Michael Bluth moment. Please tell me you've watched Arrested Development. The show single handedly saved the frozen banana industry! (That's not true, but I'm inventing my own facts today because it's Friday Y'all!)


Without much thought, I peeled them first which turned out to be the only smart thing I did. After our wedding a year ago we got a "yonana machine" which turns bananas into yogurt. Very effective but very loud. The first step is to freeze the banana which is exactly what I did...peel and all. What. An. Idiot. If you've ever tried to peel a frozen banana you know how stupid and painful it can be. If I get a tingling sensation in my fingers I always assume it's side effects of frozen banana induced frost bite.


The one mistake I made was that I did not cut the bananas into little pieces first or shove a stick in them. Apparently if you want to do something cute or fun with a banana you have to think about it ahead of time. Booo....


Since not everyone has a yonana, a food processor or the foresight to cut the dang banana first. I'm going to do something most people should be able to do...

A blender. 2 nanas. Semi sweet chocolate chips. Maximum easy.

I'm going to put them in the blender and eat whatever comes out. 


 I have a lot of baking stuff just hanging around so I threw a tablespoon of semisweet chocolate into the blender as well.

It was so loud I actually unplugged the blender, went into the guest room and shut the door. I didn't want to wake up Husband who has been working 12 hour shifts and explain that on a whim I wanted to play with frozen bananas.


I wouldn't even call this a recipe. It's literally bananas and a piece of chocolate.


The verdict? Meh.

The final product. Impressed? Meh...

It tasted like a cold, mushed banana and chocolate. Nothing to write home about or write a blog about even (so why are we here?). I've actually put the exact same things in a yonana and that stuff tasted like chocolate ice cream. What is in that yonana?!?!

The concoction ended up being 220 calories. What. A. Waste.


I guess if you're craving something sweet this is a good alternative but I have to say that 220 calories in a serving of faux ice cream does not please me. Especially when I can get a smaller fix of real ice cream. If you're a more the merrier person this is a good idea for you. You definitely get more in a serving than you would if you had 220 calories of ice cream.

To be honest, I didn't even finish it. It was that...unsatisfying.

I guess Maeby we aren't all meant to be George Michael Bluth. (See what I did there?)


XO, Andrea